He who gives strength to the weary

It has been a while since I've blogged here, and boy have things changed.

Not going to Korea

My previous post was about being accepted to go to Korea for university exchange. Well, it didn't happen in the end because Korea University ended up cancelling all of its law courses in English. Words really can't describe how devastated and disappointed I was. Going on exchange had been my dream since late primary/high school, and going to Korea to learn Korean had been something I was really passionate about since first year uni.

Yet despite this, God showed me His sovereignty. He knew me better than I knew myself.

I ended up going to Korea for a holiday in February with 7 friends and it was a time where I really got to see a glimpse of how sinful I could be/am - and that glimpse shocked me. Impatience, pride, grumpiness, annoyance, ungratefulness, hurtful thoughts and words..

Coming back home, I just felt so disoriented in my relationship with God; ungrounded drifting - and this lack of assurance shook a lot of my relationships as well. I was unfairly expecting perfection from people around me, even though it was the most unloving thing, and I got annoyed at them when they didn't deliver. How could they though? The void in me could only be filled with Christ - and for some reason I always glanced over him, instead of at him.

Looking back... I don't think I would've been spiritually mature or ready to go.

Thank you Father :) For always sustaining and looking after me.

Praise God!

Thank you for answering prayer so powerfully - my mum has started going to church and bible study this year! It hadn't occurred to me that God had really answered my prayers - 3/4 of my family worship God together now! 5 years ago, no one in my family knew Jesus, but now 3 of us are brought to know our Creator, Sustainer, Lord and Saviour!

Thank you for the fellow brothers and sisters, soldiers and sheep who continuously encourage me.

Especially thankful for this guy (who I know will read this sooner or later!) who always fights to love Christ and His people and those who do not know Him. He leads me with godliness and love, spurring and encouraging me onto look to Him and to be a lover of God and His word. Even as we walk through trials, let's walk together, keep our eyes on Christ as we encourage each other to love Him above all things. 

His reward is with Him. The good news of the gospel is that we get to enjoy God!

A funny thing to share with you guys - the bible verse in the header image on top from Psalms wasn't exactly a verse I REALLY liked - I wondered why people liked it so much.

Isaiah 40:6-11

⁶ 

A voice says, “Cry out.”

    And I said, “What shall I cry?”

“All people are like grass,

    and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field.

⁷ 

The grass withers and the flowers fall,

    because the breath of the Lord blows on them.

    Surely the people are grass.

⁸ 

The grass withers and the flowers fall,

    but the word of our God endures forever.”

⁹ 

You who bring good news to Zion,

    go up on a high mountain.

You who bring good news to Jerusalem,

    lift up your voice with a shout,

lift it up, do not be afraid;

    say to the towns of Judah,

    “Here is your God!”

¹⁰ 

See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power,

    and he rules with a mighty arm.

See, his reward is with him,

    and his recompense accompanies him.

¹¹ 

He tends his flock like a shepherd:

    He gathers the lambs in his arms

and carries them close to his heart;

    he gently leads those that have young.

Recently I've been really struggling with pride though, finding that I'm often looking for assurance from winning arguments with people rather than finding the assurance that I'm already right with God in Christ.

Reading this verse reminds me that seeking glory, seeking assurance and seeking validation from dying flowers that are wasting away daily is useless. Refuge, strength, acceptance, validation, mercy, comfort, love, hope and grace can only be found in the enduring word of God - Jesus Christ :)

Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know?

    Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

    the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

    and his understanding no one can fathom.

²⁹ 

He gives strength to the weary

    and increases the power of the weak.

³⁰ 

Even youths grow tired and weary,

    and young men stumble and fall;

³¹ 

but those who hope in the Lord

    will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

    they will run and not grow weary,

    they will walk and not be faint.

I'm tired Lord... I am from running everywhere but to You. I will find my strength in You, my purpose in Your Son and I will enjoy You even when it becomes hard because You're worth it. :]